Thursday, February 14, 2013

God's best....

Happy Valentines Day

I met a girl the other day and I can't even remember where I was but I had never met her before.  I introduced myself and she said oh I know we haven't met but I've read your blog and feel like I know you.  I thought for a second, My blog?  I some how forgot I started a blog but then realized I miss writing out my journey of life.  So I'm back to the key board and will hopefully be better about keeping up with this(I know I say that a lot).

This year has started off with a bang and the Lord is doing big things in my heart.  Last year has been defined as my heart surgery year and this year has so far been a joyful recovery.

This year started by hearing many hard stories of close friends and family that are going through some hard marriage seasons.... divorce, abandonment and affairs.  I have been blessed with the gift of getting to see some really great marriages with my line of work but after hearing so many hard stories I raised my hands and said No Thank You Lord.  I don't want to give up being single for heart ache, that does not look appealing to me.  So for several weeks I have been battling the thought of marriage.

During that time my car battery died and of course I did the only thing I knew to do....I called my dad.  I of course knew there was nothing he would be able to physically do cause he lives in Texas but he was able to tell me the steps I needed to take to get it fixed.  So there was no way to get my car to autozone so I had to bring the battery home, still not knowing how in the world to put a battery in.  I'm thankful that my land lord helped me with it but he didn't fully know how to either.  At that point I had to make a couple more trips back to autozone and was able to get it all fixed.  As I went on my last trip I just started crying like a baby, my heart wanted my dad to be with me so bad cause he would know how to do this.  He would have made the trips to get things done and he would make sure everything is done well... why? Cause he is my Father and I'm his daughter.  As I was in my car crying the Spirit told me "No one is going to love you like your Father does."  In the tears I thanked the Lord for that truth, no man is going to love me the way my Heavenly Father loves me and all this time I have put some a lot of hope in that.  I began to realize how much I idolized and romanticized marriage and though it is good it will be hard too.  Sanctification is never easy and that is what marriage does.

Every day is different, well lets be honest it goes moment to moment.  There are moments that I thank the Lord for the gift of singleness, it truly is a gift, then there are moments that I'm impatient and wonder will a husband ever come.  This week the Lord stopped me in my tracks and taught me a lesson as I was talking to one of my little ones.  His "night night" was dirty and needed to be washed of course he did not want to part with it so when he was distracted I put it in the wash.  About 5 minutes later he asked, Mae Mae where is my night night.  I told him I had to put it in the wash cause it was really dirty but I promise when it is finished I will give it to him.  2 minutes pass Mae Mae where is my night night?  I explained to him again the situation and that went on for about ten minutes of him asking me every minute or so.  I became impatient and said "where is your night night?" then he told me where it was.  I said "Please look at me, please trust me I will not forget that your night night is in the wash and I promise I will give it to you when it is ready."  Right there the spirit stopped me and had me listen to the words I just said...Please trust me, I will not forget that you are asking for a husband but he is not ready for you yet.  I promise I will give him to you when he is ready....Ahhh, thank you Lord for that moment!

I'm reading the book The Meaning of Marriage and one of the first things we talked about is just as God is sanctifying you He is sanctifying him.  Hearing about the hard seasons of marriage has made me become a lot more patient and hearing Gods whispers of His love and protection for me.  I am brought to a place that I can truthfully say "Lord,I'm willing to wait.  I want your timing not mine.  I trust that you love me.  I trust that you want what is best for me."  I seem to forget that just as the Lord has had to do some major heart surgery in my life He may being doing the same thing in a man who He is preparing for me to lead, protect and provide.  I don't want to settle for less than God's best for me.... eeeekkk that gets me giddy with full out butterfly's in my stomach to think about what God's best is for me.  

He loves us.  He cherishes us.  He adores us.  He redeems us.  He is faithful.  He is good!

My valentine this year ...such a gentleman :0)

one day at a time,